Hey, I just thought you should know
That your rain is hurting me.
I'm the soil of this Earth.
From down here there’s lots to see.
You have constructed power plants that spew out pollution.
Your cars just make me sick.
Driving more is no solution.
And your fertilizers and manure?
Are you positively sure
You want to put Nitrogen dioxide into the air?
This is just a thought… I don’t really think it’s fair.
What are you imbeciles thinking?
I'm an old red spruce tree
And I don't appreciate
what you've been doing to me!
Did you know this acid rain
Takes away my nutrients, every grain
From the soil which allows me to be living?
Acid rain, the neutralizer
Depletes what makes me wiser.
Calcium and magnesium to me are essential.
They disappear! You know it’s detrimental!
Surely your doings are unforgiving.
So when these buffers are almost gone
Aluminum ions begin to spawn
From the minerals into the soil
Which is cause for great turmoil
Because for plants like me, that is a poisoning.
The chemicals flow into the streams
Killing fish and causing scenes
Around the world, it’s called a dead zone.
And degradation of the limestone
Cement and marble of architecture… understand it?
Have you noticed? You’re ruining our planet.
Why, why, why, why are you doing this to me?
If I weren't in the water you could see my tears
Flowing like a river to the sea.
The acid rain falls into my home
Killing my friends and family.
But the casualties range farther
Than a simple brook trout like me.
It affects the whole food chain
From a plant, to a bird, to everything as far as the eye can see.
The continued assault of acid rain
Is unbalancing everything into catastrophe.
Can you please, please help me for I fear that I am next?
Please can you do this for a sad and scared brook trout like me?
I'm so angry by what everyone is doing.
The pollution we've made is making a mess of everything.
You fools! That's right, I'm yelling!
My name is Lisa Jackson and I'm the administrator for the EPA
It's my job to protect the environment from wasting away.
Fine, if you don't care about the trees, soil, and animals
But maybe you'll care if you or your children are dying.
Yes, that's right, acid rain affects us too, there’s no denying.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Acid rain when inhaled, yes, it will smite us.
It will kill us early through asthma and bronchitis.
Economically, acid rain is devastating.
The fishermen have finished debating
Over why their fish are withering away
It’s time to stop, so let’s stop today.
Let’s save the fish, both star and cray
Both animals and humans, the vast array.
Acid rain won’t prevail long
But we all need to wake up and smell the roses
That is… before they're gone.
Lauren I couldn't find your post, so I'll just post my comment on your changes here.
ReplyDeleteI think your switching of words was a good idea. It added some clarity to those lines. What I did was change around some of the words to make it rhyme and flow a little, but I still kept the ideas that everyone added to the poem.
This sounds amazing! I love what everyone has done with it. There is only one thing that I would change and that would be in the last paragraph, seventh line down to change but to then.
ReplyDeleteWow, this was really good. I am impressed that you managed to keep the rhyming going, yet get all the information in. I especially liked the last two lines, because it put more of a personal touch on things rather than having the whole post just be a rant on acid rain. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI ver much enjoyed this! I liked how everything flowed together. I also like how after going off about how acid rain damages the Earth you added that we need to wake up and actually start doing something. so Great Job!
ReplyDeleteVery nice job! The rhyming was smooth and keep the piece interesting. I enjoyed the use of the earth's point of view as the story's narrator. All of the important themes connected to causes and consequences of acid rain were demonstrated in a clear manor. Great use of an original idea to tell share with people some fairly dry information.
ReplyDeleteThis is epic! Love it!
ReplyDeleteThe different points of view keep the reader engaged. Excellent use of rhyming! Mrs. Ekeland would be proud.
Great work! This poem does a fantastic job of really conveying the anger with acid rain behind the different points of view you chose. The varying points of view and nice rhyming kept this very interesting. Well done.
ReplyDeleteAlways have to enjoy a nice piece of poetry. I'm very impressed that a group did it as a poem. This was really a great job it had variety, yet it stuck to the main topic.
ReplyDeleteWell done, A poem with that kind of vocabulary is always challenging. The last two lines were a really nice touch. You covered the topic well.
ReplyDeleteGood work with rhyming all the words smoothly! This was a very moving poem, and I think it would be great to use this to educate people about acid rain and its effects.
ReplyDeletePoetry isn't typically my thing, but I really like this. I think that using a poetic format allowed feelings to be conveyed more easily and effectively. Prose can be very academic, sterile, and impersonal a lot of the time -- an explanation of exactly how acid rain leaches nutrients from the soil isn't all that emotionally resonant. Since we're not scientists, it can be difficult interpreting things like statistics as anything meaningful; this can make appreciating the true impact of acid rain tough. Aside from the sociopaths among us, we can all connect to things on an emotional level, though. While we may not be capable of fully understanding the implications of the fact that fifty percent of the calcium and magnesium has been leached from the soil in certain places over the last thirty years, an anthropomorphic spruce complaining about how acid rain has been destroying its environment certainly is more emotionally and intellectually comprehensible. I think that's what makes this poem successful.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed you guys could keep the ryming up and actually make sense of the piont you are trying to make! very nicely done. Its seems you guys put a lot of thought and time into it!
ReplyDeleteGreat job! The rhythm of the poem was great (I kind of rapped it) and the information was very inclusive. I can clearly tell a lot of effort and work was put into this project. I was never a poet, and never liked poetry, but you guys truly deserve my respect.
ReplyDeleteWell done! I like the rythym and the rhyme. I'm impressed that you could express all of your information in this format.
ReplyDeleteGreat job! I like how vivid the adjectives were, and how well it rhymed.
ReplyDeleteVery nicely written. I enjoyed the creativity of it, and everything seemed to have a great flow. Even though i think it would be hard to present all of my information in a format like this, you guys did a great job of covering all of your main points and supporting your argument.
ReplyDeleteI really like how the speaker of the poem changes from the soil to a spruce tree, then to a trout, and finally to people. It really shows how acid rain affects everyone and everything. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome. So creative and artistic but at the same time has the chemistry to learn about acid rain. very well written.
ReplyDeletethe way that you changed the point of so that we understand what is happening to all areas of our planet
ReplyDeletei thought was a nice way to do it (sorry i accidentally posted before i completed my thought)
ReplyDeleteThis was very well written, as well as thorough. I enjoyed reading this very much. Even though relaying all the chemistry information was probably difficult to rhyme you guys did a nice job keeping a good flow to the poem.
ReplyDeleteGreat post in many aspects! You portrayed the effects of acid rain on the ecosystem through the perspective of what it is that is actually being affected. To me this adds a deeper meaning to what I am reading and enhances your points that you are trying to make; that these issues are really that big of a negative impact to us and our ecosystem. This was very well written and great job on sustaining rhyme and rhythm of this faily lenghthy poem! Great post guys!
ReplyDeleteThis is very personal! I mean i could feel the anger and tension. It had a great flow and the facts were interesting. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm not entirely sure what the role in this R.A.F.T piece is, but the writing itself is good, and directly connects pollution, human interactions with nature, chemistry, and acid rain in an interesting way.
ReplyDeleteI thought having multiple points of view throughout was a unique way to tell the effects of acid rain. Very interesting! You covered all of the aspects of acid rain and did a good job of showing the effects on humans. Overall this is a great piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteUnlike most previous posters, I thought the use of various narrators was kind of confusing at times. That said, the writing was vivid and imaginative. You guys definitely spent a lot of time perfecting this; the last two lines of each stanza really seem to hammer the main points home. Wonderful job everyone!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I really want to hear someone rap this now.
This is great! The images are present. The use of a poem was ingenious and the attributions of acid rain were covered greatly. The impact of the piece was satisfying and held true almost the whole time. Being in a poetic setting, it allowed for more flow of creativity, and it was obvious that you all took it. Amazing!
ReplyDeletethis is a great way to put thngs in explation, very good poemic explation. i really enjoyed it. i like how you make me see images of that poem!
ReplyDelete