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Friday, April 29, 2011

A Call to be Made (Period 4 Group A Fourth Draft)

[The setting is Cologne, North Rhine-Westphalia; Germany, 1966. Alexandre and Gisela Sinclair await a phone message from an old friend in the United States. A career diplomat, Alexandre has been stationed in Germany since the end of the Second World War. He has encountered miraculous success in his endeavors, culminating in a politically and economically beneficial marriage to the daughter of the current chancellor. As the couple wander into their opulent sitting room, a mish-mash of ivory and silver charms, the dim silence succeeding last night’s soiree resounds through the walls of the lofty estate, barely masked by the slight drone of rain.]


Alexandre: [sourly] Where is Mitzi? I sent for schnitzel and the news ages ago!

Gisela: [scornfully] But you sent her out not even ten minutes ago. Really, Alexandre, [raising her eyebrows] you have been quite tactless lately.

Alexandre: [tensely] Oh, have I? [catching himself] I suppose I have. [sighing] I don’t mean to go on like this, Gisela, but this weather irritates me. [glancing outside]

[Gisela strides over and gently places a delicate hand on her husband’s shoulder]

Gisela: You’re just exhausted from the party last night—it was wonderful, wasn’t it?—I’m sure Oberlin’s call will cheer you up.

Alexandre: [giving Gisela a slight smile] We’ll see.

[Outside, a cab door closes; the maid steps through the door and fastened her umbrella, striding quickly towards the kitchen door.]

Gisela: Oh! That’s Mitzi. She was quick.

Mitzi: Guten Morgen, Frau Sinclair. Good morning Mr. Sinclair. [She hands the paper to Gisela and prances off to the maids’ quarters]

Gisela: Danke, Mitzi! [laughing]

Alexandre: [stepping in] Say, where are the—

[the phone rings and both sets of eyes in the room dart toward the jangling console sitting on the marble counter]

Alexandre: I’ve got it, Dear. Will you go inquire about the schnitzel? [hinting at the girl dashing down the hall] Hello?

Voice on the other end: You’re under arrest!

Alexandre: [shocked] W-what?

Voice on the other end: For not contacting your best friend in 20 years.

Alexandre: [relieved, but slightly irked] Oberlin! You truly had me, you crazy fool; you wouldn’t believe what a relief this is. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.

Oberlin: As have I, although it bothers me that this conversation hasn’t happened until now…Necessity has brought me here. [pauses] Have you heard about the rain?

Alexandre: [confused] The rain? Oberlin McNally, did you call me just to talk about the weather? It hasn’t let up all month over here. Sometimes it comes down as snow, and then rain. You should really see the flooding.

Oberlin: The rain, Alex, the rain! [hauntingly, barely a whisper] Acid rain.

[His face stricken with horror, Alexandre takes a moment to comprehend the situation; he wanders through the French doors and falls onto the newly upholstered overstuffed polar bear loveseat.]

Alexandre: [quietly] How bad?

Oberlin: The animals, their very existence has been altered by changes in the environment! The base of the food chain –phytoplankton and other microorganisms that grow in lakes, rivers, and streams – has been decimated by acidification. The poor critters are emaciated… and angry.

Alexandre: [concerned] Not the animals!

Oberlin: Oh, yes, the animals! And the ecosystems as well.

Alexandre: [pacing back and forth] How did this happen?!

Oberlin: [flatly] Following the war, our country focused on industrialization and turned a blind eye on the environment. The economic benefits were enormous, but came at a high cost to ecosystems everywhere - increased SO2, SO3, NO2, and CO2 emissions caused highly acidic precipitation all over Europe.

Alexandre: [questioningly] These compounds are acid anhydrides. How does a compound without hydrogen produce acid rain?

Oberlin: Nitrogen oxides such as NO2 reacts with H2O in the air to form HNO3, sulfur oxides such as SO2 and SO3 react with H2O to form H2SO3 , and CO2 reacts with H2O to form H2CO3. When the sky opens up, it unleashes these compounds as acid rain. The acid rain falls upon the earth where bases such as calcium and magnesium lay. Now, these are usually insoluble, but they are susceptible to reacting with acid rain. When they do react—

Alexandre: [completing the puzzle] –They are washed away, never to be utilized again by the plants and ecosystems that so desperately depend on them!

Oberlin: This is only the beginning; these unnaturally occurring gases are toxic. Lives are at stake.

[Alexandre gazes across the courtyard at the ancient stone artifacts that litter the gardens. He is disgusted to see each drop of rain splash across their milky surface, for he knows that in several decades, acid rain will have erased their intricate beauty.]

Oberlin: [determined] The reason I call is to delineate the future. Germany’s rapid industrialization has, unbeknownst to you, slowed its own long-term growth. You must exert your influence towards greater emissions regulation it’s too late, for the future of Germany, for the future of the world as we know it!

[The phone call ends. On the other end of the line, a man sits weeping silently in his chair, having reached an epiphany and feeling good about protecting the ecosystems of Europe. At this moment, Gisele walks in.]

Alexandre: [frozen, standing on the veranda, soaked in the acidic solution] We have to…

Gisela: [perplexed] What, mein Liebling? Why are you standing in the rain, come inside! You’ll catch cold.

[He saunters through the doors and grips the shoulders of his noble wife with his icy fingers.]

Alexandre: [still gripping] Gisela, a day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. This task is imperative.

Gisela: [not grasping the predicament] Is this about the schnitzel? I can run and get them myself. [worried] Don’t punish Mitzi: she’s young, she just forgot.

Alexandre: [his face set like stone] No, it’s not about that. That is as insignificant as a grain of sand in the great Sahara Desert. We are talking about the condition of Mother Nature’s jewel: the good of greater mankind.

[Fixing his eyes on his wife’s defined visage, she had never looked so striking.] Gisela, is your father in his office?

Gisela: [slightly dazed] … Yes.

Alexandre: [unwavering] I think we have a phone call to make.

26 comments:

  1. Hey Issac,

    I'm really glad that there were changes as to the word choice and usage, it really adds to the feeling and mood of the work. The new details added to the "scientific" part of the play were well thought out and make a lot of sense. I know it is really hard to make a play serious and have it have facts about acid rain. The imagery is fantastic and the plot wraps itself up neatly. It was a very good idea to further describe the implications of acid rain through the deterioration of the marble statues in the gardens. Ironically, it also shows undertones of further plot decadence. Good edits, thanks for the collaboration. :)

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  2. Also, the only criticism I have are very teeny tiny minute things like the font choice and scripting syntax and details such as italicization of bracketed words. If I was to completely redo this, I would probably try to release some tension in the plot by adding some relief devices, but overall I am very proud to be a fourth of this work. Again, Nice work.

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  3. I really enjoyed this! I think it does a great job of explaining the effects of acid rain, but I would like to know a bit more about Oberlin. What is his position in society? Why is he so concerned with the future of a different country if he lives in the United States? I also think that in one of Oberlin's lines it should be "...towards greater emissions regulation BEFORE it’s too late." "Before" must have just gotten left out. Other than that I think you did a fantastic job! Kudos to whoever put in the Lord of the Rings reference.

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  4. This definately got my attention! I really liked how you got into talking about acid rain. You didn't just start talking about acid rain right off the bat. I think you guys also did a wonderful job with talking about the harmful effects of acid rain. Great Job on this!

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  5. Excellent work! You guys expressed how acid rain can effect the environment, and how it works.
    Also, you've shown that acid rain isn't only in our area, but also in many other countries throughout the world. (Such as Germany)
    Nice job! Woo!

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  6. This is a very unique way of discoursing information concerning acid rain. The story is pretty well-developed. I am curious as to why this is set in 1966 Germany? Anyways, this is pretty good.

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  7. I agree with the main points completely, but i feel having it set in Germany in 1966 wasn't a great idea. Otherwise great job. Really hit the point of industrialization putting toxins in the air.

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  8. I thought the setting and plot added depth; The reader learns about acid rain, but in such away that it isn't forced, the education is almost incidental. It teaches without lecturing. Well written.

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  9. I can just see this being performed at an earth awareness convention. I like how neatly the acid rain facts are built right into the plot. You could have put in just a little more about the origin of acid rain, though.

    P.S. Did you get "A day may come when the courage of men fails...But it is not this day." from Lord of the Rings? Just curious.

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  10. I love that you wrote in the format of a play. It added a lot to the message, and could bring your messages to many different audiences. Good job being thorough in your explanations of acid rain.

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  11. Albert:

    Yes. That was me. I couldn't resist.

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  12. Very dramatic and very cheesy, but i liked it a lot. nice work.

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  13. Using a play was a great way to express information while adding interest and mental imagery. Also, you incorporated all of the information into the play, so great job!

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  14. using it is conversation setting made it easy to understand and you explained acid rain well the one thing i would say that could be fixed would be shorten the beginning so that you get to the point faster

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  15. I think this is a fantastically hilarious assessment of our acid rain problem. The way it was portrayed as a horror movie scene really hyperbolized the problem of acid rain. This humor also brings out the seriousness of the issue, which was explained thoroughly in the phone conversation. Great work!!

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  16. I enjoyed that you turned the information of acid rain into a play. The only thing that seemed a bit off was the setting, it seemed a bit irrelevant to be in Germany 1966 but that's just what I think. This was really interesting and was easy to understand what acid rain is and how it affects the environment.

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  17. Great job! You guys showed some real creativity! It was very well written and I liked how it was set in Germany! In terms of a play, it actually was funny and had a great conclusion. It also taught a lot about acid rain. This was the most creative project I have seen so far!

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  18. Excellent job! I very much enjoyed reading this because it wasn't just a bunch of facts all in a row. Weird setting but overall great piece!

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  19. Wow. I can definitely tell how much work was put into this. It was so unique because you put the information into the format of a play, and you still got the message across without any of it being boring. You guys have a lot of talent. Excellent work!

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  20. Great presentation of the problem, very creative. It must have been a challenge to work chemistry into the dialogue, but it worked pretty well. All in all, an excellent R.A.F.T piece!

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  21. Good work! From the story point of view I liked how you were able to somewhat develop the characters even while talking about acid rain. This was very creative and had most of the required information. I would have liked to hear more about the effects of acid rain but overall it was informative. I could picture what was going on and that was different from some of the other writings which I found interesting. Great work again.

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  22. This is amazing! I would never have thought of to do a story. This is really well done and must have been very difficult to put everying into dialog.

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  23. I liked the story, and the choice of names made it seem... well, German. The only problem I have is the middle section when Oberlin rants about acid rain feels too much like a lecture and not enough like a play. Good vocabulary though! Well Done!

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  24. This was spectacular! It was so creative and hilarious. I loved how dramatice it was. I liked the connection between his opulent surrounding and acid rain. (the statues)

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  25. I am so impressed by this play. I think it would be extremely hard to put this kind of information in a play and make it enjoyable to read. But you guys did just that! Way to go!

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  26. I greatly enjoyed reading through this play. Especially since it was from the point of view of someone who could actually have influence over the the results. There was a lot of solid information about the formation of acid rain and the destruction which it causes. You managed to tell this in a realistic conversation, which was a great job. Very nicely written, I thoroughly enjoyed this.

    P.S. I love the Lord of the Rings reference haha, let me guess, Dan?

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