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Friday, April 29, 2011

Acid Rain is Devastating, Period 5, Group D, 4th and Final Draft

Hello, and welcome to this informative speech on the negative effects of acid rain. As I'm sure you all are aware, I am Tony Hawk, and I'm here to tell you that life isn't all about popping a kick flip or doing a casual mctwist. There are dark sides to this planet, and one of the darkest things is the deviating menace known as acid rain. I used to think that acid rain was no big deal. I assumed that the only harm that it did to plants was fall on them and corrode their leaves and what not. Recently I realized that the effects of acid rain can last on an environment for hundreds to thousands of years. It isn't that acid rain simply burns plant life.

Acid rain's most dangerous effects is that it strips the land of all Calcium ions and Magnesium ions, both of those ions are staples of life as we know it, and it pollutes the water and air which can harm many organisms. This can harm an ecosystem along with its species, and can be a catastrophic phenomenon for forests around the world. The process through which the land is stripped of its Calcium and Magnesium ions is quite interesting. The Calcium is stored in the soil in insoluble compounds usually like Calcium carbonate or Calcium hydroxide. Originally scientists thought that acid rain didn’t affect the Calcium and Magnesium ions, but they were false. These compounds are bases that are insoluble in soil, and will stay insoluble until they react with acids found in acid rains to form soluble products and water. Once the soluble products and water are formed then the Calcium, or Magnesium, is stripped from the land and is taken very far away through streams and underground water. This can have a devastating effect on the environment. All of the plant life needs the Calcium to grow and survive but once the Calcium is stripped from the land, it takes a really long time to get it back. This isn't just a one year problem I'm talking about, and reducing the emissions of sulfur isn’t enough. This is a problem that will last for your lives and it is important that we fight acid rain to help our forests and lakes survive.

The way acid rain affects the water is just as bad as the depletion of Calcium and Magnesium. If you go to a lake and see that it is really clean and can see all the way to the bottom, you might think it is really healthy and good for it’s organisms. But, in a lot of cases the water only looks clean because the algae and the plankton are all dead. This happens when acid rain falls into the lake. When acid rain falls upon lakes, rivers, streams, etc., it can cause the water to become more acidic than normal. The Calcium level at Hubbard Brook has shrunk by more than 50% in the last forty-five years. The life forms can no longer live in the water because they cannot adapt to the sudden change in pH. What eventually happens is only a few species that can handle the acidity survive and the rest die, which greatly affects the biodiversity in the ecosystem and the food chain. When the biodiversity and food chain get affected in a negative way, this will overall change the ecosystem’s species composition and could possibly kill off more organisms due to the lack of food.

So how does acid rain directly affect humans? Acid rain itself is no more dangerous than normal rain. It will not hurt you if you walk on it or burn you if you swim in it, but the gases that are in acid rain such as Nitrogen oxides and Sulfur dioxide are harmful to humans. These gases react with water to form acid rain, and it isn't that acid rain is dangerous to us, but those gases are poisonous. Most of those gases aren't formed naturally on Earth, but mankind has found ways to create it’s own poisons. Scientists have found that these gases have been known to cause premature death and illness. There fortunately is a way for humans to help stop the formation of gases. We can support the Clean Air Act and cut back on fossil fuel use and gas emissions. It is important to understand acid rain. It is important to fight it because even though it will take a long time to make it better, it doesn't take that much time to make it a lot worse. It is devastating to the environment and harmful to human health, and it is important for us all to try and stop acid rain in it's tracks.

Lastly, acid rain affects not only humans and the environment, but it also affects the economy. As you can now see, acid rain isn’t just a simple droplet of water, when acid rain hits a lake or river, some of the fish will die. On a small scale this is devastating. A fisherman would no longer be able to catch the amount of fish needed to support himself and this would make his life a disaster. Now on a larger scale, when looking at buildings and statues, the once fine brick or stone has now become eroded and less attractive. The price of the statues and buildings depreciates with each shower of acid rain, making your once expensive possession cheaper and cheaper. The owner of something that is getting destroyed by acid rain could probably take out insurance on what they own, but this will only keep them from losing money. The real issue is the fact that acid rain has and always will erode things that are made of brick and stone, and unless we as humans do something about it, and this problem could become even more devastating.

26 comments:

  1. I think that the beginning paragraph is very strong; however I feel that the last sentence of the paragraph could be deleted entirely or moved to the beginning of the next paragraph. It seems a little out of place.
    I also feel like the sentence about the original thoughs of the scientists could be revised or deleted from the 2nd paragraph. Possibly to something like "Originally, scientists were unaware of this environmentally deteriorating effect of acid rain." I liked how the chemical process through which acid rain depletes an environment was explained. Easily understood and relatively clear.
    Nice job of exposing the misconceptions of most people about clean lakes. It's interesting that clear does not mean healthy. I'd be interested to know a species that was killed off as a result of food deprivation from acid rain.
    The last paragraph does a nice job of illustrating how acid rain is harmful to the economy. I feel like the paragraph needs to be moved into the middle of the essay instead of at the end because I do not think that it efficiently sums up the blog post. I think that the last sentence of the last paragraph should be deleted and the paragraph should be moved in between the last and the 2nd to last paragraph.

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  2. You do a nice job of thoroughly describing the effects acid rain has on factors such as the Calcium and Magnesium ions and bodies of water. My only critical comment would be that your ending just doesn't have the proper zest. Your last sentence only encompasses your last paragraph. I would suggest adding a conclusion paragraph that reasserts the main points of your informative speech and leaves your listeners with that necessary *oomph* that will make them remember your speech and force them to take action about acid rain.

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  3. I think that since you were writing it as a speech, I think it sould have been more audience friendly and less like an essay. The content was all correct and there was plenty of it, but I think it should have been more like a speech. I also agree with Neal, that if it really is a speech, it needs to have more of a conclusion. Overall, very good though. There was lots of information and you picked an interesting perspective to write from.

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  4. This was wonderful work! I felt like I was watching the news and Tony Hawk came on to tell me about acid rain. Sometimes it takes a celebrity for people to care about an issue. Your article certainly made me more aware of how acid rain is formed and how it damages life. The wording made the information come to life. Your article had pizazz and was entertaining and engaging. Most of the facts were accounted for. The flow of the article is nicely structured and easy to read. Great work!

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  5. It's nice that you guys drew a parallel between acid rain and the economy. The example with Hubbard Brook and the calcium level drops is a strong point to bring up. This blog is very practical, and I think the public can get a lot out of this.

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  6. Very thorough and nicely done. Some of the sentences sounded kind of choppy and there were places were the transition from topic to topic needed working on. Other than that it was pretty good.

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  7. I didn't really enjoy reading this type of speech. It feels like if you were giving the speech you were looking at your paper reading facts off. However, you made up for it with how much information you really put into this. After reading this it feels like I've learned enough to go straight to the government and just give them a speech off the top of my head. Other than your choice on the outline, very informative.

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  8. As a speech, it needs to be more concise, splitting up the paragraphs would help make it more "user friendly". It's stuffed with facts, so it covers the topic very well.

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  9. I do like person that is talking, but I do think that you could have made it sound a little more like Tony Hawk. It sounds a little more like a scientist than anything. Although it is pretty informative there are some things that you could do to make this speech a lot better.

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  10. I agree with everybody's criticisms -- this feels more like an essay than a speech; it's a little "choppy"; and the conclusion doesn't feel like it's concluding much. This was probably Tony Hawk's first scientific speech, though, so you can't really blame him. Despite all that, this post is definitely informative. Citing the situation at Hubbard Brook was also a nice touch, since it shows that the damage caused by acid rain isn't just theoretical. Overall, good job.

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  11. Good job. It seems like an essay, but the speaker could reach an audience who may not know about acid rain. You did well with expressing all the necessary information.

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  12. This was really good. I like how it elaborated on how the acid rain kills trees and destroys habitats. It really shows that the authors knew what they were talking about.

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  13. good speech. i like the introduction haha. but i think you could've talked about the positive effects about the acid rain too. Anyway, thorough and nicely done.

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  14. I see that I agree with several others that this seems more like an essay. My suggestion would be to keep in mind that you are addressing an audience. Also, don't forget who the speaker is and who they are addressing - the tone of a writing should cooperate with who it was created by and who it was created for. However, you did do a nice job of including a lot of information.

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  15. i found that this was very persuasive and got the point across that we need to do something to help the environment

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  16. The first thing I notice about this post is that it's excessively wordy. Consolidating wordy phrases and sentences would be better for getting your point across.

    This is kind of a miscellaneous thought, but should you be capitalizing magnesium and calcium in the context you are using it? Also, your overuse of colloquialisms and various idioms detracts from the style of the writing.

    You get the point across, but I think that eliminating wordiness and cleaning up some of your arguments to make them a bit clearer and more cohesive would do this project some good.

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  17. Good job of explaining the harms of acid rain to plants, water ecosystems, and the economy in your three main paragraphs. I noticed a few grammatical errors. I also think you would have benefitted from some kind of conclusion. However, overall, you did a very good job of getting your points across.

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  18. Wow, I didn't know Tony Hawk was so into chemistry...but aside from that, this essay is pretty well written and explains the chemical side of acid rain nicely; but your group could probably afford to cut some of the chemistry and write more about the social/economic effects.

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  19. This had a lot of good information in it, but the use of words did make the writing seem almost forced out. I noticed in the second to last paragraph, "these gases" is used quite a bit. If you found other words to replace them instead of recycling the same ones over and over again, it would make the writing more colorful and less repetitious. Great job on the introductory paragraph; it was entertaining!

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  21. Great job! But I agree with everyone else. The beginning paragraph states this document is a speech, but it is written like an essay. It just didn't have the flow of a speech. It isn't written as if he was standing in front of you and telling you about acid rain. You did get all the information effectively presented in the post.

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  22. This is really good! There were a few grammer problems and you could have made it a little less like a essay.

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  23. Due to the copious grammar errors, I found this piece of writing very painful to read. Personally I think more work could have been done to eliminate these errors before the fourth draft. That being said, the vocabulary was great. However, sometimes I felt like it was a bit much for Tony Hawk. Don't be afraid to throw in a "dude" every couple sentences! Over all, great work guys.

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  24. Interesting point of view. I liked how creative you were with that. But like others said, it didnt sound a whole lot like Tony Hawk and you could have proof-read it a little better.

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  25. The first paragraph was pretty unique, talking from the point of view of Tony Hawk. But the rest of the project sounded like an essay more than anything, and I really could not hear "Tony." Very solid information though. Good work overall.

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  26. Very nice speech this could be said to anyone and they would lear about acid rain right waya nad its cuase way to go i enjoyed it

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